LOVE is the energy that ties everything together...and everything falls apart without it. If your own life seems to be "falling apart" at some level, maybe it's time to add some LOVE. But don't wait to receive it. Act like you can't wait to give it.
Smother life with LOVE and watch everything come together again!
With the Supreme Court announcing that gay people may now marry in all 50 states I thought it was appropriate to talk about LOVE. Romantic love. You know… the kind that so many people are so hung up on, whether they be gay or straight. Many people have no idea what true love is.
Here’s what I know. Many people confuse “love” with “need.” Many people think that they need something from someone other than themselves in order to be fully happy. We’re talking about happiness on a personal level now, not happiness in a career or happiness with our trinkets and possessions.
Personal happiness seems to only be full and rich when we have someone to share it with…but the danger is that to many it feels as if this means someone to “get happiness from.” I think that what I’ve learned is that if we feel that someone else—that magical “other”—is going to bring us happiness, we have misunderstood what love really is.
You are not alone in this misunderstanding. Tons of people believe themselves to have needs, and they see life as a quest for “need fulfillment.” Indeed, they see LOVE as “need fulfillment.”
“You fill my needs and I’ll fill yours.”
For many, this is what it feels that love is all about. We look for someone who can fill our needs. We call this “compatibility.” And once we find someone who seems to have all the equipment to fill our needs, we run around trying to fill theirs.
It drives us crazy when we meet a totally self-fulfilled person who apparently HAS no needs…because we can’t do anything FOR them. How are we going to earn their love if we can’t do anything FOR them?
Fortunately, there aren’t very many self-fulfilled people around, so we don’t have to worry. Most others who come into our life have needs of their own, so if we want to get really close to them we subtly work out a “deal.”
Like two nations with stuff each of them needs, we enter into a Trade Agreement. “You give me this and I’ll give you that.”
We can tell that we have entered into a Trade Deal when, if the other person stops providing us with what we think we need to be happy, we start feeling short-changed. And, if this goes on, we want “out” of the arrangement.
This, of course, is not True Love.
I want to talk about what “true love is and what it isn’t”
True Love does not say “I love you IF…” True love says “I love you BECAUSE…”
And what is the “because…”?
The “because” is….”because you’re alive. Because you’re YOU.”
This is how God loves us. No conditions. No “if’s”. Oh, and by the way, no “trades.” God doesn’t give us all good things only if we give God what we imagine that God “wants.” God gives us good things every day of our life, regardless of how we treat God…or anyone else.
You see, God has not created a Reward & Punishment kind of universe…even though most people think that God has. God has EVERYTHING, so there is NOTHING that God wants. This allows God to love us without placing requirements on us to love God in return, through some specific demonstration, behavior, or ritual.
Ah, wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could all love like God?
Well…life gives us a chance to practice that. And that, I have found, is where the real joy is. I’m learning that Love is not about what I get from another, but about what I give.
Old stuff, I know. Ancient truth, heard from our Moms a hundred times. But right now, maybe it would be a good idea to go back and remember what love really is.